You remember back in elementary school when teachers gave you a crayon and a blank piece of paper asking about your future? Telling us to draw what we wanted to become once we grew up? Well I do. I also remember maybe second grade when I didn't even hesitate. I immediately gripped the crayon tight in my hand, leaned in close and got to work swinging my short little legs back and forth underneath the chair taking advantage of the fact that they were too short to reach the tiled floor. A minute passed and I was already finished. The teacher walked over ready to question whatever I had drawn and force me to elaborate on my future plans because of the limited amount of time I spent creating them. I took one look back at the giant smiley face that I had placed carefully on the off white surface. She looked at me then back at the paper and just smiled before walking over to her desk, picking up an extra piece of paper and giving me yet another blank slate. I knew what I had wanted to be…smiling and happy. I was a kid and I had aspirations to be me. It really wasn’t that complicated. The second piece of paper told me I had to be a little more specific…and it remained blank for a whole lot longer.
Have you ever dreamed of becoming someone? Of doing something famous? I used to think that one day I was going to be a lawyer. Typical, right? I just always found different legal cases intriguing and thought that maybe one day I could be smart enough to accomplish this goal. I wanted to play on the USA field hockey and Lacrosse teams. I wanted to be an artist, a singer, a musician. I wanted to invent new games that all the kids in the neighborhood would play. I wanted to do a lot of things. So I went for it.
I played field hockey and lacrosse and practiced every week day for a very long time. I participated in art quest when I was younger and have never stopped doodling. I belt out songs without even thinking about what environment I am in or whether or not it’s truly embarrassing the way my notes come out wrong and I hardly ever know all the words. I was also a member of my school’s band starting off with the recorder in elementary school and then developing slowly into the clarinet, the bass clarinet, and finally the tenor saxophone for marching band at my high school. I didn’t make it to the professional level in any of my activities, no. But that’s not the point. The fact that I had fun? That’s the point. I did what I wanted to do.
I was rumbling through old facebook notes the one survey asked a question about my goals that brought back a lot of these memories. Now around this time I think I was maybe ninth or tenth grade. My answer? To finish my gold award project. In March 2010, after a full year I finally completed this project.
Today my younger brother had his own Eagle Scout Ceremony. The small church room was packed with fellow scouts, families and friends from all walks of life and it made me feel good to see how many people Eric has influenced over the years. At one point in the middle of the ceremony a former scout master made a comment about the rarity of finding an Eagle Scout within the community. My family has two. Another boy scout made a comment about how my little brother pepped up a losing volleyball team by singing Lady Gaga causing them to loosen up and eventually win first place. And a third about how he was thinking about quitting the troop until he met Eric and his crazy personality. Eric had a big impact on his troop and his community. Brad did too. I like to think maybe I do too. Not to their troop obviously, but to my own Girl Scout troop, to the community as a whole. What do you think? How do you really know?
I know recently I’ve been kind of off track with this dream blog. Though over the past two days complete with a random all nighter that had nothing to do with anything and a friend of a friend coming to visit bringing about hide and seek, hop, and five hour energy… I’ve had a total of maybe five hours of sleep. This sleep deprivation tends to then make it difficult to report on a dream blog. Unless however, I was documenting on a different kind of dream. The one that drives people to do what they do and become who they want to become. My dream as a little kid was to be happy. My dream today is to be happy. I AM happy J
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